To Lawyer or Not to Lawyer?

When I was a young pup I was offered a full-ride scholarship to law school and I turned it down, a story that still puzzles most lawyers. I just didn't want to read case law, or spend 90% of my waking hours at work. 

I graduated from college in 1984 with an undergraduate degree in Drama. Emphasis, playwriting. There weren't any jobs for playwrights in Knoxville Tennessee at that time -- what a shock. 

In hindsight, I realized I should have majored in journalism. I had worked for about 6 months on the staff of The Knoxville Journal, and it wasn't glamorous or exciting. I was just a lowly "gopher" [get me a coffee, kiddo!] but I shared the same huge newsroom with the reporters and editors and I had a front-row seat to how everything worked. Reporters were very underpaid and worked long hours. What most horrified me is the fact that so many of the stories covered [city council meetings, utilities board meetings, etc.] were so deadly dull. I wanted more adventure and more money.

So like an idiot, I decided I would be an actress. After all, I had done some plays in high school and acting was a lot of fun. I didn't realize until I got to college that short chubby girls would never be cast in anything. I wasn't the skinny ingenue type and I couldn't play character roles because I looked too young. So I switched to playwriting. I should have switched majors entirely, but I was young and stupid and my parents really didn't think my major mattered. 

My mother figured, based on her own experience, that I would get married as soon as I finished college, and stay at home and have babies, like her. My dad figured my college degree made no difference because employers would hire me because I was smart. He ran the Trust Department of a bank and he hired people with no business degrees and no experience banking because they were smart and personable. It never occurred to him that he was very unusual. Even in 1984, most employers weren't willing to take a chance on a somewhat shy, chubby young woman who looked about 16 and had a degree in Drama. 

Even KFC and Waffle House turned me down.

So I went to paralegal school and studied corporate law for three months. Then I got my first job as a Litigation paralegal, and learned on the job. There's a lot more drama in Litigation, actually. I had to use my acting skills a few times as I recounted in my memoir Talking Back, Stories from the Big Hair and Pantyhose Years. 

above, me in 1980 around the time of my stint as a newspaper gopher

When I had been a paralegal about a year my father strolled into my office and threw a brochure on my desk. He expected me to sign up to take the LSAT [Law School Admission Test] and go to law school at the University of Tennessee. He offered to pay all my tuition and expenses. 

I said nope, not interested. 

Two huge issues presented themselves to me as soon as Dad said the words "law school." 

I had thought about law school, actually. I hated reading case law, however. It put me to sleep. I knew from talking to our law clerks that to get through law school I'd have to spend hours every day studying case law. The thought made me cringe. 

Secondly, I knew the young lawyers worked far more than 40 hours a week. They routinely put in 60 or more hours. Some of that work involved writing briefs, which meant more case law. I wanted to get married and have kids, and actually stay home with my kids. 

Dad was really angry with me. 

I didn't find out until years later, after he died, why he was so intent on me being a lawyer. Mom told me he had been offered a full scholarship to Emory Law School and he had turned it down. Instead, he went into the Army. He had finished his master's program. He was an honor student. He thought the military was the place for him, though. When he married Mom a few years later and told her about the scholarship, she told him she would just teach school while he was in law school and kids would be delayed until he finished and passed the bar. He said no, it was too late.

So he wanted me to have the career he had turned down. 

Silly me, I wanted to make my own choices in life. 

I think I made the right choice. I don't think I would have made good grades in law school, so I wouldn't have been able to get a good job upon graduation. Dad would've been disappointed anyway. 

I made the right choice for me. 

I let my kids make their own choices in life. I don't push them to try and fulfill my dreams. They have to forge their own paths. It's part of loving them -- letting them go. 

 

Some of my hard-won paralegal wisdom is collected in Paralegal 411: Tips, Tricks and Timesavers for the Litigation Paralegal. Available on Amazon. 

below, me and Dad when I was about 25